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All 22 game Reviews

Russian Affairs Russian Affairs

Rated 1.5 / 5 stars

Good attempt at a half assed game.

This game was really amazing as it started out. I thought at first that this wasn't the typical defecated excrement that is so prolific on New Grounds.

Graphics were tight and I can see you spent a long time making them look so good. I was impressed by the walking the character does, and the level of detail in some of the background objects.

The Metal Gear style soundtrack was good.

Map layout was somewhat simple yet effective. There should have been objects to be used for cover, and possibly a limit to bullet rations and a way to collect ammo.

The weapons are fired, and loaded SOMEWHAT realistically.
These are the proper steps to reloading a mag with a typical semi-automatic weapon

* The empty or partially loaded mag is removed.
* Weapon is cocked to remove the round in the chamber, unless all rounds have been fired. This is the step where reality and gaming enter grey area, so I'll let it slide.
* The loaded mag is inserted.
* Weapon is cocked to resume firing.

But at least you showed basic knowledge.

There is (in gameplay at least) no sideways shooting, and no unrealistic weapon characteristics that allow you to make one handed sniper-pistol head shots from 10 kilometres away. For that I commend you, that is one thing I pick up in every video game or movie. Good job on that, it shows that you know what you're talking about, or that somebody at least researched that aspect well enough to make a convincing product. That's attention to detail lads.

It got kinda messed up with the controls and gun battles...

It was almost pointless gunfighting in this game. For one thing, when I was shot standing up, it didn't seem to do much, or the enemies missed completely, but when I was crouched and made a smaller target of myself they could wax my ass with one shot? I don't know if that's laziness, stupidity, or lack of programming skill. Take your pick.

What the fuck were you thinking? Who was smoking the crack when you were testing this game? Why would you waste such a strong effort on the graphics and plot development to make a smooth moving game that sucks to play?

This game could have been way better if you focused more on your gameplay instead of standing in front of the mirror with your Tom Cruise dirty sanchez aviators pointing both your nines around sideways reaffirming to yourself that you have big enough "pipes" to wear a cut off shirt and sport the kind of goatee a queer-bitch or Fred Durst might have.

So close, yet so far away. You still suck. A game has to be engaging to play, or else all it's pretty graphics and sounds go down the toilet, like you should have when you were born in your mother's anus.


Quibble Race Quibble Race

Rated 2.5 / 5 stars


Your graphic style and skill is pretty darn good, no problems there. Everything was smooth, crisp, and you know exactly what your style is all about.

Aside from being a sort of gambling game, interactivity is pretty decent, for the genre. Even though i find gambling in real life to be a retard's activity.

Not bad.


Divine Intervention pt. 1 Divine Intervention pt. 1

Rated 5 / 5 stars


Fucking excellent guts and blood!

KiLLer CaRs! -=2=- KiLLer CaRs! -=2=-

Rated 4 / 5 stars


Killing people is fun.

Park A Lot II Park A Lot II

Rated 4 / 5 stars


cool, needs killing though

Create-A-Snowman Create-A-Snowman

Rated 2 / 5 stars


It was kinda fun. Christmas is fucking gay though. I shoot my cum at the 25 on the calender and spray a virgin's anal blood on it. Cheers!

Jack Must Die Jack Must Die

Rated 4 / 5 stars


Not enough halloween games on NG. I enjoyed this, great soundtrack too.

Pumpkin Jack Pumpkin Jack

Rated 3.5 / 5 stars


Halloween stuff is the shit. This was a pretty good pumpkin simulator, more care should have been taken to create atmosphere by use of sound.

6 more dead babie uses 6 more dead babie uses

Rated 4 / 5 stars

Not as funny, still.

Not as funny as the other uses

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8 More Dead Baby Uses! 8 More Dead Baby Uses!

Rated 5 / 5 stars


The baby voodoo doll was the SHIT! There needs to be more ways to kill live babies